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Scout Scrapbooking
How Long Distance Relationships Work
Long distance relationships nowadays aren't just for military spouses and lovers. The Internet has made the world smaller and the number of LDRs is on the rise. A 2005 survey by The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships reveals that one out of ten American marriages have experienced LDR at some point within the first three years of matrimony. This translates to around three and a half million married people in the United States alone. Another study conducted in the same year on non-marital unions showed an estimate of 4 million college-age couples who were in long distance relationships.
This just goes to show that more and more people are taking a chance on long distance relationships despite the risks and cons. If you are in one, you may have your own share of questions and worries as to whether or not you can make it work with your partner. An LDR is not something a couple should choose to go along with half-heartedly. It requires effort, planning, and a few tried-and-tested tips to keep physical separation from wreaking havoc on your relationship.
Make your expectations and boundaries clear from the start. People in long distance relationships sometimes make the mistake of playing things by ear. Bear in mind that even couples in close proximity with each other also need to plan their relationship and be clear about their expectations from it. This is a must for a serious and lasting union. Recognize that physical distance can tempt a couple in a relationship to see other people or have physical affairs. If you want to set ground rules when it comes to exclusivity, do it right from the start. Spare each other the guess-work and potential heartache.
Plan your physical reunions ahead of time. After some time being apart, the thought of being physically together at last (even for a brief period) should be exciting respites in long distance relationships. Plan your face-to-face time way ahead so you always have something to look forward to. Make real-space togetherness the opportunity to hug, kiss, and be with each other in the truest sense.
It's a good idea to meet up on certain days that mean a lot to both of you, such as an anniversary, Christmas holidays, or your birthdays. And when you're finally together, do everything you can to make the occasion memorable by doing something fun, romantic, and not ruining it with petty fights and disagreements.
Express your love in creative long distance ways. Long distance relationships definitely require more creativity from the people involved in them to liven up their union. Being physically separated can set limitations on showing affection for each other, but it also allows for some inspired ways to do so.
Make each other feel cherished and special with unexpected gestures. You can put together a scrapbook of your history as a couple, or make a mix CD containing all the songs that mean something to your relationship. It doesn't have to be fancy. For example, one girl in an LDR was complaining to her boyfriend about how tough it was to find a particular pair of shoes she wants for a friend's wedding, having scouted the entire tri-county for them. A few days before the event, a package containing the exact pair of shoes she wants arrived at her door…a surprise and loving gift from her boyfriend who took special note of what she was looking for and hunted for them himself.
Take the opportunity of physical distance to become better individuals. When Kahlil Gibran said Let there be spaces in your togetherness, he may as well have been talking about long distance relationships. Being in a committed relationship shouldn't mean it has to curtail your freedom and personal growth.
On the contrary, an LDR is the perfect opportunity to become better individuals so you can further enrich each others' lives as a couple. One girl described being in an LDR as sort of empowering, knowing that she's part of a couple yet being able to do things on her own. When it comes to long distance relationships, the secret is to compromise, not sacrifice. That way, when you're finally together in every sense of the word, you have more to offer to each other and to your relationship.
About the Author
Laura Ramirez is the author of "Long Distance Relationships That Last." For a copy of her free report, "Top 3 Secrets to Making Long Distance Relationships Last" go to longdistancerelationshipsthatlast.com
I Love My Dog Scout